06.10.19 + 16:49
Of course, I am not marrying anyone. I like woman "x" always seems like famous last words to test the waters. Feeling real slow at the moment.
Feeling a little down in the dumps today. Its hard to keep my mind focused positively. The afternoon was spent looking for jobs somewhat directionlessly and somewhat half-heartedly. Which is what all of my job searches seem to be like. I just want to go get away from everyone and everything. Family, friends, capitalism, America. I do not feel equipped at the moment for dealing with modern living in a positive way. I am feeling extremely under prepared for most activities. I have taken a mis-step perhaps into navigating my future. I did this on purpose though. I purposefully gave myself no solution because I wanted to drop out of everything. Its like a river flowing at this point. I am being called to something somewhere. I can fight the current but I am already far down this path and it seems like perhaps I should just see where it takes me. Feeling slightly overwhelmed. What to do when you have anxiety.